To My Beloved Royalty...

I'd like to talk a little about what happened Friday.

I have severe anxiety and depressive disorders. I'm working to secure disabilitiy services to help me work and to keep a roof over my head and food on my table in the mean time.. I know you all want to help, and I don't like to make my mental illnesses/disabilities something that I talk about on this site. But sometimes there are bigger problems going on than will be apparent to you, the reader. So when you wonder why I'm not taking your advice NOW.... please trust that there are reasons. I honestly don't want to discuss these. They're not particularly things I'm proud of, I'm still coping with the notion that I have disabilities in the first place, and I'd rather keep them to myself and my circle of intimate friends and loved ones. However if you insist on giving me advice or instructions to tell me how to do this or that or the other, it can become a huge anxiety episode for reasons that wouldn't make sense to anyone and that I can't adequately explain myself. I don't completely understand why a bit of advice can feel like a life-or-death dilemma, but this is a reality of my illness.

So while you were all trying to help me get the strip posted last friday, please understand that I was coping with immense anxiety issues that made schlepping the strip to someplace else to upload very much not THE issue I had to contend with at the moment.

I can't completely understand it or make sense of this aspect of who I am. I'm not sure why little things like advice can put me into fight or flight mode. I don't really get it. Why is this a disability, why does it stand in the way of my functioning in the way others do? I don't know. Please just understand that, even failing to explain properly, this is the reality. So if I don't do what you tell me to ot what you suggest, there are reasons. And I may not want to talk about it.

Anyway, thank you for your understanding.

Speak Out

Comments:

A Reader
*Guest*

Guest post by "A Reader"
Hoping things work out for you soon, Ms. Smith.

Submitted June 1, 2014 at 10:02PM

Listening Daisy
*Guest*

Guest post by "Listening Daisy"
I hope you feel better, happy, calm, relaxed and content soon.

Submitted June 1, 2014 at 11:53PM

RachelN

You needn't explain, at least not to me. I have my own problems with anxiety and depression, and can be triggered by seemingly insignificant things. That said, let's move on to the strip.

It seems Being Useful and I were both right--Lucy scolded Sarah about Molly and her tendency to tell people about Sarah's trans status, and she did indeed notice Irma was not there. I'll be quite interested in knowing just how Lucy reacts when Sarah tells her what happened.

Last edited by RachelN
Edited 1 time(s).

Submitted June 2, 2014 at 12:27AM

Rachel P
*Guest*

Guest post by "Rachel P"
It would be interesting to hear about what has gone on with Irma. Irma could do with a talking to, also, especially if she thinks that Sarah's dressing as a girl is just a game, when it most certainly isn't.

Submitted June 2, 2014 at 6:24AM

Rachel Ann
*Guest*

Guest post by "Rachel Ann"
Wishing you all the best. Of course I haven't been down the exact same path you're on, but from what you wrote, I know my own path has wandered in the same general direction, and possibly has stumbled into the same dark places.

No advice or instructions, just a single comfort: It does pass.

Submitted June 2, 2014 at 8:24AM

alice
*Guest*

Guest post by "alice"
hugggs <3

Submitted June 2, 2014 at 12:50PM

kitsunique
*Guest*

Guest post by "kitsunique"
Sending positive thoughts your way. Thank you for all the hard work you've put into this comic. I look forward to reading more when you are able to continue.

Submitted June 3, 2014 at 3:43PM

Niceguy Eddie
*Guest*

Guest post by "Niceguy Eddie"
No explanations required. Hugs & all the best.

Submitted June 3, 2014 at 5:32PM

Ranthog
*Guest*

Guest post by "Ranthog"
I understand those feeling more than I'd like to admit. Best wishes.

Sarah is really not getting anything past Lucy on the friendship front. Probably for the best, too.

Submitted June 3, 2014 at 9:11PM

Pinkbatmax

Thank you, everyone. <=')

Submitted June 5, 2014 at 11:04PM

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