The Princess - Boy Havoc

Guest post by "Amy!"
"I get where you're coming from, but I think the honest truth is that at this point in their life, Irving/Irma is playing with gender. Remember, though, play is a way that children experiment with roles. The way they try things on, see what fits and what suits them.

I've volunteered several summers at the Gender Spectrum Family Conference. It's a wonderful event held annually. There is a program for adults, one for teens, and a camp for children. Having seen and met a number of these children, I can say confidently that I've met some like Sarah.... always have known their true gender identity and always will, and all they want is the freedom to express it. For for each child like that I've met, I've also met two or three who are playing with gender. Experimenting. Trying things out. Even just plain having fun.

Professionals working with gender nonconforming children will tell you this is pretty typical, and that some will grow up and retain gender nonconforming identities. Some will become transgender, bigender, agender, gender fluid, genderqueer adults. Others won't. But all of them are better for having had the room and space to play as a child, and learn from that playing.

I think that, as adults, we hold an entirely unwarranted negative view toward play. We see it as trivial, as insignificant. I'd suggest the opposite is true. I'd suggest that through play, we can learn who we are. We can find ourselves.

Now, it's true that Sarah is very serious minded about gender, and she may not understand where Irving/Irma is coming from. I believe, however, that Sarah has her answers about gender but she doesn't have THE answers. Her knowledge is personal, but she may not know or understand someone else's quite legitimate truths. In short, Irving/Irma has learned a lot from Sarah. Perhaps Sarah, too, can learn from Irving/Irma. Perhaps in the final tally, they will each learn from the other and be better for it. The path toward learning isn't always easy and certainly can be uncomfortable, but I think they can and will both grow quite nicely from their friendship. Even if the road will get bumpy along the way.

For further reading on the subject, I'd like to suggest "The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals" Stephanie A. Brill (Author) , Rachel Pepper. Also, the Gender Spectrum website is a MUST. It can be found below:

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