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Quote from Nestor Notabilis:
Guest post by "Nestor Notabilis"
My family.

It's something I find hard to explain to Western people but I've experienced car crashes, been near bombings, members of my family have been directly affected by bombings, and I'm not the least bit afraid of terrorism, lone wolf attacks or even the rough side of town. I comfortably alone walk through and even love areas my partner and friends think I'm vulnerable in at night. But the prospect of seeing my immediate family at Christmas, talking to or arguing with my Dad often fills me with dread. The build up to Christmas is often que for me to panic and worry about what might happen from November through to Jan. I think people find it confusing because it's a response they associate with abuse, and I haven't been abused.

Asian girls I've talked to about this seem to 'get' it much more intuitively. They seem more used to reading something like 'my Dad doesn't understand me' as a sort of...combination of pressure, hypocrisy, unrealistic expectations, utter blindness to the someone is in favour of how they 'should' be and demands for obediance- rather than as 'immature teenager-style rebellion' that Western girls tend to interpret it as. It's difficult to explain to you (and it's weird using 'you' because I am *also* English and European etc-) difficult to get the sense of the whys across. Because you know it doesn't feel irrational when the background noise you grow up with suggests familial abuse is an act of love, when you knew going to visit family in particular places meant your Dad could legally stop you leaving again. I have no idea how much of this makes sense or is relatable to you guys, but it may at least give an impression of why I might be uncomfortable with family and why I don't think everyone should come out.

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I can understand to an extent, to the end of my experience. Obviously, though, there's the limit you delineate. Confused