Guest post by "Flurpty Do" The monks from the Abbey nearby regularly shop at the store I work at, one of them always has a good joke. here are a couple of them:
Joke 1: A police officer pulls over a car that was swerving all over the road. He walks up to the window and sees one of the local priests at the wheel. He asks "Father, have you been drinking?" "Only water, officer," the priest replies. "Then why do I smell wine?" Asks the officer. The priest shouts "Good Lord, He's done it again!"
Joke 2: A burglar breaks into a house in the middle of the night. As he looks around he hears a small voice from the darkness, "Jesus knows you're here." He freezes and turns off his flashlight, but after a few minutes of silence he shrugs and continues looking around. As he enters the living room he hears the voice again "Jesus is watching you." He freezes again, but again there's just silence. He begins taking a stereo off a shelf when the voice says "Jesus doesn't like that." The burglar looks around and spots a parrot in the corner. "Is that you talking?" the burglar asks. "Yep," the parrot replies. "What's your name?" Asks the burglar. "Moses," the parrot says. The burglar scoffs and says "What kind of goofball names a parrot Moses?" "The parrot replies "The same goofballs who named their rottweiler Jesus."
Joke the Third: Jesus and Moses are in Heaven packing up after their weekly game of golf. "You know," Moses says, "I think our games would be a bit more interesting if we had a third player." Jesus thinks for a moment ad says "I think I know someone who might be interested." The next week comes around and they're starting their game. Moses tees off, and the ball hooks right into a water hazard. As Jesus laughs, Moses calmly walks down, parts the water, and hits the ball up onto the green. Jesus takes his turn, and it's Moses' turn to laugh as the ball hooks right into the same water hazard. Jesus serenely walks out onto the water, commands the ball to the surface, and hits it up onto the green next to Moses' ball. Their third player tees off, and the both of them start to laugh as the ball heads straight for the water. Suddenly, a fish jumps out of the water and catches the ball in it's mouth. A hawk swoops out of the sky and catches the fish, and as it carries it over the golf course there's a sudden loud clap of thunder. The startled bird drops the fish onto the green, and the ball pops out of it's mouth and rolls right into the hole for a hole-in-one. As they applaud politely, Moses leans over to Jesus and mutters "Next time, don't bring your Father."
